My Morning Journal Thoughts

It is cool in the garden this morning on my bench. I watched the chickens, ducks, lizards and birds from there.

Breakfast wanted me to eat it so that is what I am doing now; sitting at my desk eating breakfast. St. John is sitting on my mind. I've never been there before. We leave tomorrow. Nine hours on a large airplane plus 1 hour in a small airplane plus 20 min on a boat will get us to St. John.

We will live together for 7 days with our friends from Georgia. We don't see them often so when we do see them I laugh at their accent and tease them. But at the end of 7 days we will be the ones whose speech will have changed to be more like theirs. They don't change to be like us.

It's not just their accent that doesn't change. Their hospitality doesn't change and they take care of our every need. Or, I should say they facilitate the fulfillment of our (needs) wants. This is the Southern culture. We, on the other hand, are from California - the land of up & coming, trends, and shifts in perspective. We are needy...

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On my desk is a painting I started for a friend of mine. It is patient with me. After laying color down I liked it. The next day I added color and I didn't like it - so I started to white it out - then I stopped whiting it out. I am pleased that I stopped.

Each day since then I considered that maybe I don't want to paint this picture. Then I answer myself in a very firm tone, "Yes, you really do want this picture to be painted and you are the only one who can paint it. My friend might have something to feel about/because of the painting." And then I think to myself, "Just remember he will know your weaknesses through this work." -- Well, that's okay. --

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There are two windows to the left of my desk that I watch the day through. Roses and birds, an occasional cyclist, the field and hills and valley below are there - always. These things I have no responsibility towards. I don't have to do anything with or for or because of them. They are my pleasures...

To the right of my desk is my house filled with my people and my things. Beyond my house is the yard, pool, garden, chickens, dog; interpreted, my life and my responsibilities. I wouldn't care as much for the things to my right if I didn't have the view to my left, or the almost whited out painting on my desk.

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Did you know that the only thing I'm an expert at is being the wife to my husband and mother to my children. Yes, I am an expert at those two things. I became aware of that fact the day after I made some mistakes with one and two of my children. The mistakes were made as I was acting in the name of mothering these children in the most correct way I knew how. But it wasn't what was correct for these particular personalities. I think it will be of great benefit that they saw me putting forth effort to care for them, even though it was not right for them, and that I told them I was sorry and I see their point of view. Even though it was 'wrong' it was done with expertise.

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Our algae growing pool is almost completely drained now. The dragonflies vacationing near it are going to have go back to where they came from. It was nice to have them here. I watched them while they were here. I like the way they dance.

But they have to go because the pool will be rebuilt and filled with clean water and this will bring the bats back. In the summers past, at night, I would swim in the pool with Cameron. We enjoyed the cool water and the fear of sharks below us. We watched the moon move across the sky and behind the clouds. The bats would quietly flit down to drink from the pool but only when we weren't in the pool. They would let us watch them in the sky when we were in the pool. The stars & the moon & the bats and the fear of sharks is what made our summers great. The occasional spotting of an owl moving through the night made them unforgettable.

Good-bye dragonflies.

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200 words are waiting for me to write them. 1 perspective is waiting to be chosen to hang those 200 words on. I'm emptying the thoughts in my mind I won't use for the 1 perspective, and then I will re-arrange the 200 words that are left. Thank you computer and mom and dad.

Will I ever write another review?????????????????????????????????????????

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These were my morning thoughts today.... I'll see you all after the first week of August!

Tight hugs and sloppy kisses!